Saturday, August 12, 2017

The more things change

I always have great intentions to post on my blog on a more regular basis. Then life happens. This year is no exception !So much has changed, yet the more they change, the more they stay the same!
The boys and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary of our “forever” day. I thought about our journey and began to read my old blog posts. I have floods of all the feelings that I blogged about at one time or another. Roller coaster Emotions
Boy, once again, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

If you have read any of my posts from the past, you can see it has been a roller coaster journey. I thought our life would settle down. My son, had went through rehab and has been off meth and heroin for over a year. I am so proud of him for that. I always refer to this blog when I am upside down. Just for today

The boys and baby girl and I still live in our own little place. Just far enough out of town that the kids can run, yell and play in the mud. We have had some people come and go in our lives. Honestly, is this teaching the grands that some people stay in your lives and some people are here just for a short time? Is this healthy? showing them real life? I struggle with this one.

I had praised God for restoring my marriage in December of 2015. I had thought, that God had wanted me to learn forgiveness. Well, I did learn that lesson, and I praise God for it. However my perception was off a bit. This person that proclaimed to be a man of God, showed me it was all a false front as his actions and words revealed the person he really was.

I struggled with allowing the boys to see him, that turned out to be a non issue. When I kicked papa out he had proclaimed he didn't want to parent Well, the boys felt that. They had begun acting up and it was non stop. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Once we had the house back and settled in to our routine, dad broke up with the girlfriend. The boys did like her. Unfortunately she had a relapse and I pray she finds the strength to get in to recovery. Dad needed a place to stay so I allowed him to stay for a little while.
The boys loved it, baby girl was over joyed. Then dad brought another girlfriend around. The boys didn't get to know her as she didn't last long. Now there is yet another girlfriend that has 3 kids. … Let me go on record as stating, for me, 6 kids is way to many... for me. Bio dad does work, he takes the kids to the park. The boys have been very vocal about the fact he doesn't spend much time here with them because he is out with friends a lot. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

My delima is the change in people and circumstances. I feel there are too many people coming in and out of the boys life. I made the mistake of allowing someone in our lives, that claimed to be in it “for the long haul”. Ya, I can't let that happen again, and I expect my son to follow suit. I realize he is going to date and hopefully find the right gal. In the meantime, don't bring every new girlfriend in to meet the kids after a couple dates. We have a difference of opinion on that! We DO agree on the fact he should get his own place now.

School is about to start here. The boys are excited to see their old friends and meet new ones. They are both straight A students. I still have to stay on the boys to keep their room clean and to stop putting clean clothes in the laundry basket. Jonathan has learned to cook a little bit and Sebastian is always happy to eat it. Gracelyn has been called princess to many times as the terrible twos are in full swing! The more things change, the more they stay the same.